Do NOT compare your child to others.

Do not compare your child.

Just don't. It won’t end well. It is a bad formula that no matter which way you spin it, will never end well. We have all been told not to compare our children to others, even our own children to each other. How can we not though? It is wired into us as human beings to look to others to see how things are done and make sure everything is okay. It is a weird catch 22, comparing your child. Everyone warns against it but if you never compare your child then how will you be able to make sure they hit all the development milestones in time? How will you be able to catch if something is wrong if you never compare how they are acting to the majority of others?

I remember there was one point where I lived in my stress and fear. It changed me physically and mentally. I worried that my daughter was not okay. At 13 months old my daughter had a pediatrician, a gastroenterologist, neurologist, physical therapist, and occupational therapist. How could I not worry? How could I not live in the black hole of my stress? I remember I would cry every night. Why wasn't my daughter walking like my friend’s son? Why wasn't my daughter saying any words unlike that kid in the daycare who was talking up a storm? Why wasn't my daughter putting her toys away like her cousin? My head would spin with a million questions. I stopped eating as much. My hair was coming out in clumps. I slept horribly. I couldn't get over this obsession with comparing my child and picking out the differences of her and other kids.

The simple truth is kids develop at different rates. Kids have different talents. They are different in their strengths and weaknesses just like we are. They are human, just like us (just a miniature version). Sometimes we forget that. We expect them to perfectly follow a chart. To be a textbook baby. There will be kids who are early bloomers and kids who seem to move a little slower. Just because they are on one end of the scale or the other does not necessarily mean that something is wrong.

If I could go back in time, my advice to myself would be to enjoy your child! If she doesn't want to walk then be lazy and lay down with her! If she wants to make funny noises instead of talking when she should, make funny noises with her! I would tell myself to enjoy the moment, every moment. Not to drown myself in the worry and instead absorb every second I can with my little girl. I have a beautiful, unique baby who is happy and over all, healthy. I wouldn't trade that in for anything in the world. I wish that the mindset I have now was the  one I had then. Life for both my daughter and I is so much better. It is so much happier. 

Raising a child is one of the scariest and most fulfilling jobs in the world. It is a job you will never be truly prepared for. There will be days, maybe even weeks, that you will get wrapped up in some hype about how you should be doing something or how your child should be acting. Take a step back. Remember to live in the now. One day that little boy or girl will be off to college or buying their own home. 

My beautiful, not so normal or on track, happy Calile 

*Photo by Jessica Weaver Photography