Why I Am Not Convinced By The Bullying Fad

Source http://www.wortfm.org/mononas-anti-bullying-ordinance/

This may be stirring the pot a little. Who am I kidding just this title is like tipping the damn pot over and making a huge mess. I ask you to hear me out. Bullying is all over the media right now and has become quite the topic. My opinion on it? Let it be.

Now I am a mother. If any one bullied my child I would be upset. But let me ask you this; Why aren't we giving children the tools to better themselves and rise up from such situations? Let's be honest here, bullying is nothing new. Think back to all those old movies. You see little kids running around the streets teasing each other and fist fighting. THAT was bullying back in the day. My father would tell me stories how he was beat up. He is now a successful business man. He didn't run and hide, his mommy and daddy didn't fight his battles for him. He learned the world is a rough place and grew from the situation.

I was also bullied as a kid. I was extremely overweight all throughout elementary school, middle school, and high school. When I was in middle school the internet and the accessibility of technology was really starting to pick up. I was attacked in school and over the internet just as many of the kids now a days are. I was called fat, ugly, and some other choice words that are just cruel so I will not list them. Here is the really strange part, I SURVIVED. Yes, I lived through being bullied. I lived through being bullied in both eras; in person and with technology. I not only lived through it but I am actually a decent functioning human being (Hooray)! How could this be? Surely this cannot be true! The media is always talking about these victims of bullying are becoming emotionally screwed up. That those who are bullied are more likely to go crazy and become a threat to society. Is it really bullying that causes this or is it the way we deal such situations?

Technology is a major weapon in this 'Bullying War' (Yes, I have seen it being called this countless times). This is the popular scapegoat used for this topic. Saying technology is to blame for bullying is like saying people don't kill people, guns kill people. So then I started to question; how can these young kids can even be targeted at all? Who is allowing them to have access to all this technology at a young age? Now I am not one to attack a person's style of parenting, but does your 9 year old really need a Facebook or a cell phone? You blame the rise of technology. You blame these social media sites for allowing the bullying to 'come home with your kids'. That now they aren't just bullied at school but can be texted these hateful things anywhere and at anytime. Who bought them that cellphone and pays for that texting plan? Who doesn't have Facebook child blocked on their computer? Should we be looking at the technology to blame? Hell, I will go a step further. Should we be looking at the actual bullies to blame? Maybe, or maybe we should looking at the parents for enabling the young victims to have access to these tools. Regardless, bullying will always be a thing. You can take away all the technology and place all the laws in the world, bullying will still be there. It has existed since the beginning of the human race and will be around till the death of the human race.

Maybe trying to monitor your children is just too hard now a days. I understand that. Kids can be tricky. They can find ways around those child security blocks and get a Facebook. They will buy a texting app with their iPod. If that is the case, which with some kids I am sure it is, we should be arming them with the tools to defend and better themselves.

When you go running to the school because you are outraged that your child's teacher yelled at them, you are teaching them that mommy and daddy will be there to fight there battles. When your child is in the real world, working a real job, and their boss yells at them... you cannot go storming in the office and scold the boss. By fighting their battles you are teaching your kids that they will always have everything handed to them. That the world isn't a mean and cut throat place. Your child will go through heartbreak and sadness. Your child will feel angry and betrayed. Do we as parents like it? No, but it is human nature. It is life. This generation of parents are trying to put walls up. We are trying to stick our kids in bubbles of rainbows and sunshine. You may not realize it but by doing so you are doing more harm than good. You cannot always be there to protect them from feeling bad. If it is still not sticking then go to darker side of it; what will your kids do when you are dead? Ouija your ghost to have them yell at the meanies who aren't saying what they want to hear?

I am not saying ignore your kids or the problem. Just deal with it in a way that will show positive life long results, not just temporary ones. Try not to over personalize the situation and over react. Think of it like this; when your child falls and gets a cut you would try to be positive to show them not to cry. You would to do it to show them to brush it off, that they are fine, it is no big deal, they will live. We all have had that one time we have seen a kid fall and the mother screams and runs over to the child. As soon as the kid sees the mother panic, they start to cry. It is the same idea. Try to listen to the problem, calmly. Teach your children to problem solve and find a solution for the situation. Teach your child it is not the end of the world. Teach your child about confidence. Teach your child to stay positive and to move on. Teach your child about forgiveness. Hell, teach your child about karma if it helps. We need to move on from this generation of coddling.

As parents we should not be trying to prevent such events from happening. We should be trying to teach kids how to cushion the blow. What they should be getting out of bullying situations is not that super mom and dad will erase all bad things, but to appreciate life. Not every one will like them but the world is not all evil. They have much to see and experience, this one event will not be the end all be all.