Do NOT compare your child to others.

Do not compare your child.

Just don't. It won’t end well. It is a bad formula that no matter which way you spin it, will never end well. We have all been told not to compare our children to others, even our own children to each other. How can we not though? It is wired into us as human beings to look to others to see how things are done and make sure everything is okay. It is a weird catch 22, comparing your child. Everyone warns against it but if you never compare your child then how will you be able to make sure they hit all the development milestones in time? How will you be able to catch if something is wrong if you never compare how they are acting to the majority of others?

I remember there was one point where I lived in my stress and fear. It changed me physically and mentally. I worried that my daughter was not okay. At 13 months old my daughter had a pediatrician, a gastroenterologist, neurologist, physical therapist, and occupational therapist. How could I not worry? How could I not live in the black hole of my stress? I remember I would cry every night. Why wasn't my daughter walking like my friend’s son? Why wasn't my daughter saying any words unlike that kid in the daycare who was talking up a storm? Why wasn't my daughter putting her toys away like her cousin? My head would spin with a million questions. I stopped eating as much. My hair was coming out in clumps. I slept horribly. I couldn't get over this obsession with comparing my child and picking out the differences of her and other kids.

The simple truth is kids develop at different rates. Kids have different talents. They are different in their strengths and weaknesses just like we are. They are human, just like us (just a miniature version). Sometimes we forget that. We expect them to perfectly follow a chart. To be a textbook baby. There will be kids who are early bloomers and kids who seem to move a little slower. Just because they are on one end of the scale or the other does not necessarily mean that something is wrong.

If I could go back in time, my advice to myself would be to enjoy your child! If she doesn't want to walk then be lazy and lay down with her! If she wants to make funny noises instead of talking when she should, make funny noises with her! I would tell myself to enjoy the moment, every moment. Not to drown myself in the worry and instead absorb every second I can with my little girl. I have a beautiful, unique baby who is happy and over all, healthy. I wouldn't trade that in for anything in the world. I wish that the mindset I have now was the  one I had then. Life for both my daughter and I is so much better. It is so much happier. 

Raising a child is one of the scariest and most fulfilling jobs in the world. It is a job you will never be truly prepared for. There will be days, maybe even weeks, that you will get wrapped up in some hype about how you should be doing something or how your child should be acting. Take a step back. Remember to live in the now. One day that little boy or girl will be off to college or buying their own home. 

My beautiful, not so normal or on track, happy Calile 

*Photo by Jessica Weaver Photography

Baby Must Haves Part 2: Early Toddler Edition

Since my last 'Baby Must Haves' post, my daughter and I have discovered some new amazing things. My daughter is a little over a year old now so there are some new things we really love. So let's just get right to it! To see my first 'Baby Must Haves' post click here.

1. Backpack Diaper Bag

I do not know why I didn't just ask for this right on my baby registry. There is so much hype to get all of these name brand diaper bags but let's be honest, they are over rated. As your child gets older, and heavier, holding them on your hip and the weight of a diaper bag swinging on your shoulder gets to be a lot. I purchased my diaper bag backpack when my daughter was 6 months old. It allows for much more mobility and even weight distribution. In short, it is much more practical. 

2. PBS Play and Learn App

This one is a little different but I think technology can be good in moderation. There are so many apps that are amazing resources for your little one. One of my favorites is the PBS Play and Learn app. It captures my daughter's attention, I can see improvement with her learning, and it is free (bonus)! Why is this app great? This is a child and parent app. It is specifically designed for parents to work with their children.

  "The app is designed to build on a child’s natural curiosity about his or her everyday world to encourage dialogue between kids and parents. Each game comes with a parent note that provides information about the math and literacy skills woven into the game and suggestions for effective ways to interact with a child while playing the game to maximize the learning experience." 

  -pbskids.org

3. Floor Mat

If your child is a messy eater like mine than this is a life saver. If your child isn't a messy eater, TEACH ME YOUR WAYS! Anyways, this is pretty self-explanatory. Saves you the hassle of scrubbing that pasta sauce or other foods off the floor. You can find these floor mats at most stores (Walmart, Target, Babies R Us, etc.). If you are feeling crafty, you can get your own fabric at your local fabric store so you can match it to your kitchen. Just throw it in the wash when it gets dirty!

4. All Terrain Stroller

If you have not bought an umbrella stroller yet, make sure you get an all terrain one! I asked for a Jeep all terrain umbrella stroller for my baby shower (not because I am obsessed with jeep or anything) and I knew it would come in handy. It was one of the best things I put on my list. You may not always be on pavement when pushing your child in a stroller. Regular umbrella stroller's wheels will easily get caught on the terrain. A few examples of when our stroller came in handy was at a local fair and apple picking. I was able to push the stroller with ease through the dirt and grass as I watched other frustrated parents try to trudge with their umbrella stroller. 

5. Remote Control

Let's throw a bit of a joke in here to end on a light note. This is actually no joke in my house though. My daughter has become obsessed with the television remote. I know a few other children who always race over to the remote to play with it as soon as they see it. We cleaned an old remote we had in the house (and of course took the batteries out). Instead of my daughter grabbing our remote and changing all the channels, she thinks she has her own and perfectly content. 

*All images provided by Google Images